The River

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Have you ever noticed how a river can trigger every one of your senses? The color, the feel, the taste as you breathe in the smell and the sound of water rolling over the rocks?

As we walked along the shore of the river that morning, I couldn’t help but think how perfect it ‘all’ was. ‘All’ being spending the day with my oldest son.  I hadn’t realized just how big he had grown. He had just turned 14 and already he was an inch taller than me. It’s hard to wrap my brain around the fact that just a few short years ago, we were watching Barney and dancing to the Wiggles.  To see him in that moment that day at the river…you’d never suspect he could have ever been that small or what he would become.

Over the past few years, I’ve seen him change and grow. But the times that I actually took notice, were few.  And then that day on the shore, I saw very clearly who this young man was fighting to be. With his daily teenage struggles and his overall confusion about life in general, at that age, sometimes it’s hard to see the man in the future. Yet that cloudy curtain of uncertainty,  lifted for a brief hour that day. As we talked about his close encounter with a snake and his near miss with a running deer, his voice had an unfamiliar ring to it. There was an underlying deepness, a foreshadow, of what was to come. His words had a wisdom that rarely presents itself when a teenage boy is in the room. We talked, we laughed and we shared moments of peaceful silence.  Words seemed almost unnecessary for a while.  One thing hasn’t changed in all these years and that’s our ability to communicate without words.  No matter how tall he grows, he’s my son. Words don’t create the bond between a mother and her son. Love does that all by itself….

When I originally wrote this, you were 14 years old. You’re turning 22 in just a few weeks…I want you to know, I absolutely love you without question. I am profoundly proud of the gentleman you have become. Maybe pride isn’t the right word. My pride implies that it was my accomplishment. In truth…it was yours. You’ve shown me that there are many ways of accomplishing ones goals. You taught me to think outside the box.

You hold my heart with an iron grip. And that will always transcend not matter where life may leads us…from this world to the next. It’s your heart that determines your true path. And wherever that leads you…it will always be the right choice.

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